The Third Month
Today, I need to talk.
I don’t quite know which direction am I heading with this post (or this blog) but hear me out. If not, jump down to skip this ‘losing-my-mind’ monologue.
“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
Being a self-taught home baker is not easy, especially when you are a perfectionist AND technical to the core. My mind stays very active through the night because I am reading into every minor detail. It seems clear to me that the more you learn about baking, the more baking knowledge there is to grasp. Making a cake no longer means just baking a cake. Texture, presentation and flavour become the focus. These are what make a cake perfect and I find myself striving to gain perfection every single time.
It is difficult to learn from my mistakes when I do not know what they are in the first place. Could it be that I overworked my batter? Maybe I forgot to sift my dry ingredients? Is my expired leavening agent the only problem? Should I not have used a convection oven?
What makes it challenging is retracing errors. There is no rewind button to go back in time, so the only way to figure out my mistakes is to replicate and retrace my steps. But how many replications would this require? If there is only one determinant factor, how will I know what is it? I also seem to be in a rush to know the ALL answers immediately, as if I am in a race against my greatest competitor – myself.
On top of that, I am a huge anti-waster. Imperfect baked goods are still edible and should be consumed (fresh). Should I start selling them? It sounds so interesting and exciting. However with a full time job, I am so restricted from committing to timely orders. How do I get over this self-induced unnecessary stress and constant battle with myself?! Clearly losing it.
(Three days later…) I am rewriting this post with a little more sanity now.
I am very happy to have started on this little journey. I never had the privilege to attend culinary school in France or wherever. I clearly have no confidence to leave my primary responsibilities, be it university, family obligations, financial liabilities or work. And maybe, just maybe, in the far future I will regret not doing so. I am only three months in with this blog and I have already (unexpectedly) learnt so much.
Many has asked, “So what is your motive for starting a food blog?” Initially, I just wanted to keep a food diary for myself and have web discussions with more experienced cooks/bakers. To find something to fill up my free time after work than just watching TV. To improve myself and gain some know-how in a field that I am very much interested in. To have more reasons to be in the kitchen, where I am in my element. On top of it all, I realised that I want (and love) to be generous – not just with the food, but with the information I gain and the recipes I discover. What is the point of learning, if it is not coupled with teaching?
In the book Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, he clearly states that the key to mastering something, is time. As he says in his book, “the 10,000 hour rule is a definite key in success”. Success is not a characteristic or a personality, it’s an achievement earned from hard work, courage and skillsets. To be good at something, it takes more than just time to build the experience. I am not going to learn how to make a crockenbush with only one try – heck, I probably couldn’t spell it in one try either (yes, I had to google it)!
In my opinion, I think my biggest issue was the internet. For someone who doesn’t have any professional culinary background, the internet was my go-to. However, the internet has proven to only help to a certain extent as there can be TOO many divided opinions, creating an even larger conundrum. That’s when I realised, just like any science experiments, theoretical and practical knowledge are both equally valuable – that’s where time comes in.
In this past 3 months, albeit short, I have learnt so much. The biggest thing that I have learnt is to be patient – actively reminding myself that there is no rush in this ‘sport’, and that every imperfection is an invaluable experience. I have only just passed the starting line and I am very excited for whatever lies ahead in this looooooong journey.
Also, I just realised the title of this post sounds like I am in my first trimester.
